Holiday Greeting
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my
friends and colleagues, but it is so difficult in
today’s world to know exactly what to say without
offending someone. So I met with my solicitor
yesterday, and on their advice I wish to say the
following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit,
my best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions
of religious persuasion or secular practices of your
choice with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of
the onset of the generally accepted Gregorian
calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for
the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make our country
great and without regard to the race, creed, colour,
age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these
terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or
withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the
wishes for her/himself or others and is void where
prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to
perform as expected within the usual application of
good tidings for a period of one year or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of
this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.